Kyenza Mythos
Kyenza Mythos is a timeline of events that occur within the structure of all videos titled with (Kyenza Mythos). Any videos you see on the KyenzaProductions channel that has this subtitle connects with a bigger story. Characters in this mythology include Peter the Pedophile, Hitler, Spaceman the Sexy Serpent, Foilface, Justin (Kyenza) and god. THE TIMELINE (We will spare Justin's lifespan of over 6,000 years, as it is explained on the homepage.) _______________________________________________________________________________________ THE BEGINNING * 14 BILLION YEARS AGO ''' * God said "I want to build some shit to fuck up", and thus the universe was created. Along with the universe, he also created Spaceman the Sexy Serpent, who is sort of his henchman. He has similar godlike powers to god, however he is not powerful enough to destroy him. * '''11.5 BILLION YEARS AGO * God gave Spaceman the Sexy Serpent permission to create his own galaxy, and so he created the Milky Way. * 4.6 BILLION YEARS AGO * The Solar System starts to form. God is starting to grow old and decrepit. Spaceman the Sexy Serpent starts to ponder how to overthrow god and become the new overlord of the universe. The creation of the home planet of the Mythos, Earth, also starts taking form. * 3.5 BILLION YEARS AGO * Life starts appearing on Earth. This baffles both god and Spaceman the Sexy Serpent, as no life had managed to make it past certain periods of micro organic multiplication. Spaceman the Sexy Serpent takes in upon himself to watch over this planet and see how far life goes. _______________________________________________________________________________________ THE MESOZOIC ERA * THE TRIASSIC PERIOD - 240 MILLION YEARS AGO * The first dinosaurs start taking life on Earth. Spaceman the Sexy Serpent takes DNA samples and is astounded by how well these living creatures are thriving on their own without any higher power. He continues to watch them grow without interrupting their pattern of evolution. * THE JURASSIC PERIOD - 145.5 MILLION YEARS AGO * Life grows on Earth, more dinosaurs come into the scene. Life at this point is flourishing, with the existence of plant life, oxygen, water and of course, dinosaurs. * THE CRETACEOUS PERIOD - 65 MILLION YEARS AGO * The dinosaurs eventually meet their fate, as god and Spaceman the Sexy Serpent were playing space soccer with an asteroid, and Spaceman the Sexy Serpent didn't realize how close they were to Earth. God kicked the asteroid towards the planet unknowingly, destroying most life on the planet. This enrages Spaceman the Sexy Serpent, who banishes god from his galaxy. God complies, as he realizes his mistakes. _______________________________________________________________________________________ THE CENOZOIC ERA * 65 MILLION YEARS AGO * Mammal life starts appearing on Earth after Spaceman the Sexy Serpent thinks all hope is lost. He is immediately shocked, but begins to have hope for what will happen. * 300,000 YEARS AGO * After watching life on the planet grow for so long, Spaceman the Sexy Serpent places the first intelligent life form on the planet - Foilface. ''He wanted to see how someone who had more advanced knowledge would exist and thrive in a land of primates. * '''200,000 YEARS AGO' * Foilface has populated some of the planet with homo sapiens of basic skill. After 100,000 years of Neanderthals, the modern human was finally starting to take form in Africa and South East Asia. * 100,000 YEARS AGO * South East Asia has developed the first fully-functional batch of homo sapiens who are able to hunt and kill effectively. Fire is discovered. * 60,00 YEARS AGO * Humans are forced to come up with survival strategies during the Ice Age to fight off predators. Foilface teaches them basic communication, which ends up being the basis of Latin and Greek. * 40,000 YEARS AGO * Humans start building architecture in Europe. It is advanced at the time, and even gains the attention of Spaceman the Sexy Serpent. He asks Foilface what the fuck they're doing, but Foilface was still in Asia fucking some bitches so he didn't know. Spaceman the Sexy Serpent notes this and continues to observe. * 8,000 YEARS AGO * God attacks the Milky Way galaxy. He has created so much life on other galaxies and planets that Spaceman the Sexy Serpent is overwhelmed. God and Spaceman the Sexy Serpent discuss a treaty, that god will not kill everyone as long as he gets to brainwash the human species while it is still somewhat primitive into believing in him and basing their whole lives around him, and that he can put his own overly intelligent, yet playful being on the planet. Spaceman the Sexy Serpent agrees, thinking that it won't cause too much of a fuss. Justin (Kyenza) is born from god, and starts the Egyptian civilization. * 6,000 YEARS AGO * Nico Raimont is born, and is infused with immortality as god and Spaceman the Sexy Serpent can see that him and Justin would have amazing chemistry in a podcast 6,000 years later.